Words mean nothing anymore.

At the beginning of the year my best friend stopped talking to me over something petty and insignificant. It made me realize how shitty people were. Specifically how shitty the majority of my friends have treated me since about the age of 17. The people I considered to be good friends of mine stopped talking to me after I became pregnant, and the one's since turned in to terrible people. I have come to the realization that maybe I've brought this on myself for choosing shitty friends. You see, I have already lacked respect and love for myself and in effect, have always chose people that also lacked respect and love for me. They could fake how they care for me, they would say how much they cared for me quite often in order to manipulate me into believing it. I have come to believe that words mean absolutely nothing in any type of relationship. Someone could be pulling the trigger while telling you they love you. It doesn't mean anything if they are going to shoot.
I once thought one of my greatest qualities is that I could always find the greatness in someone, no matter how fucked up they were. Now I see how dangerous of a thing that is. It's willingly getting close to someone that is reckless and would have zero regard for your feelings. I can't do that anymore. I'm tired of being treated with zero regard. I'm tired of being seen as someone a person can hurt for fun.
I often wondered if I was just the type of person no one really gave a second thought to. Now I think that there are just selfish people out there that don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves, and therefor treat everyone like they are disposable. I shouldn't have to put forth some grand gesture of self sacrifice in order to be regarded as indispensable. If that's what someone requires in order for a friendship to work, that explains that the problem is with them instead of you. I could never ask that of someone. To inconvenience themselves for me, or to sacrifice an ounce of their self worth. Friends should always be convenient, and should always be respected. No one should have the right to get mad at someone for not wanting to inconvenience themselves for you.
I'm not going to lie, I have become a bit of a hermit lately. But being alone is decidedly better than loosing pieces of yourself to those who don't deserve it, From now on, I am only going to associate myself with friends of action, not friends of words.