5 Judgement's I Encounter as a Single Mom

I am a single mom, and have been one since I was 20. I had only 2 years of adulthood before becoming a parent. I catch myself, more often then I care to admit, looking back at those 2 years in want, in need, and in envy. This is not to say that I don't treasure my daughter, but sometimes it's all...

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On The Importance Of Boundaries

I've attempted to identify, as of late, the possible reasons for my misery. Bhuddhist philosphy teaches to always put others first, and as a follower of this philosophy I am here to admit that I have misinterpreted the meaning. For far too long I have believed I must allow everyone to walk all over...

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The Complicated Futility of Ignorance

I've felt this way, sometimes sti...

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I Don't Understand

Everyone is on the defensive. We live in a world where you speak your mind and are condemned to horrors that no longer phase you. I don't understand, this overwhelming reality I never asked to live in, constructed by those that knew not what they were doing. I live in a world where a voice will not be heard with out dollars flowing from the mouth and VIP's at each side. A world where the statistically...

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What I need vs. what I want.

I've been thinking very hard of getting in touch with the friend that stopped talking to me, then I realized that I didn't do anything wrong and it's not that I'm not talking to her, for I would without a second thought, but it's her that has not said a single thing to me since early January. In the time that I have not heard from her I've been dealing with a lot of shit that I could have really used...

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I'm going to die alone...

A couple of weeks ago I reactivated my OKcupid account because I realized I'm 25 and have not been out on a date in 3 years. I was determined this time to meet someone and go out on at least one date a month with a new guy. The issue lies in the fact that I always forget how terrible the guys are on these stupid websites. One guy even blocked me simply because I did not respond to him fast enough....

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Why I hate Religion: my search for a true God.

Since tomorrow is Easter, and the majority of my family would say that Easter is important because it is the day Jesus rose from death, I wanted to take this time to reflect on what religion and god or whatever means to me. I don't think it's a secret from my family that I have struggled with religion for many years, mostly by hating it. I was brought up Christian by my mom, and baptized Christian....

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Words mean nothing anymore.

At the beginning of the year my best friend stopped talking to me over something petty and insignificant. It made me realize how shitty people were. Specifically how shitty the majority of my friends have treated me since about the age of 17. The people I considered to be good friends of mine stopped talking to me after I became pregnant, and the one's since turned in to terrible people. I have come...

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On Taking Risks

“I’m a Zen Buddhist if I would describe myself. I don’t think about what I do. I do it. That’s Buddhism. I jump off the cliff and build my wings on the way down.” - Ray Bradbury  Ray Bradbury is one of my favorite people, and his quote from his 90th birthday only justifies why I feel this way....

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Shy

I am going to be brutally honest.  I am a shy coward when it comes to connecting with other people.  Specifically when connecting with potential love interests. Even in the realm of online dating.  I spend the majority of my time scrolling through faces I simply cannot force myself to be attracted to, even if they are particularly good looking. Then, for no good reason at all, I come...

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Fragmented

Sometimes, when I’m miles away, it’s all I can do to not feel dejected. I’m longing for that mold I can fit perfectly in. That mold that I fill and my sides don’t droop over the edges, bursting out the seams. Looking for shoes to fill, or a shell to occupy, it’s just not happening. Trying to find the space in which I can exist and be recognized naked. Most of the time my thoughts are lost in the...

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Lesson in self love through The Mindy Project and Yoga.

I was watching the Mindy Project this morning and I have to say, it was the best episode yet. Pretty much it was an episode about how Mindy is gaining weight due to her pregnancy and how its made her feel ugly and unloved by her boyfriend. She then seeks the help of a coworker who refers Mindy...

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Project: Self Love - What Other's Think Of Me

Am I the only one who types something clever or funny or helpful in reply to a post and then deletes it in crippling fear that it might be taken the wrong way, or that person may think I’m stupid? I do all the time, which is another reason I have decided to take an extended hiatus from facebook and most of my friends. And I think I stumbled across something important here. I care too damn much about...

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Personal Therapy

You know, making a vow to resist the urge to check facebook would have been a whole lot more successful if I had made it during a week I wasn’t forced to stay home sick. That’s okay though, I have been somewhat successful thanks to Netflix and Gossip Girl (don’t judge until you’ve given it a chance), and lots of chamomile tea.Can’t wait to be over this sickness. I need to get my butt in gear asap....

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